Tuesday, July 15, 2014


They say honesty is the best policy.

I really hate that phrase. Not because I like to lie. I just don't like sharing the "dirty laundry" of my life.

But I also don't believe in just sharing the good things in life.

Next week, I'll have been in AZ for a year. I still have the same job, and have been attending the same church since January. But, I still feel like I just moved here. I still don't have a core group of friends who "get me" and I just feel lost and alone. I know I'm suppose to be here that's about the only thing I know without a shadow of a doubt.

I was talking with my younger sister last night and I looked at her and said "Life sucks right now." She gave me that look everyone gives a single person look - "It will get better." But, it may not. The bible says you will go through trials and tribulations. It doesn't anywhere share the "prosperity gospel." I think I've had too many positive people talking in my life.

Don't get me wrong, we're suppose to "count it all joy." But if I hear any of these phrases one more time, don't get upset with me if I react in an unpleasant manner.

"Oh Lauren, your time will come."
"This will be you in a few years."
"He's out there."
"When you stop dwelling on it, it will happen."
My personal favorite. "Have you..." (the answer is always 'yes')

There's no one to ask what I'm doing wrong. So, I rely on just hearing from the voice of God. But in this area, I feel like I hear absolutely nothing.

What am I doing wrong? I'm tired of limbo. I know my life doesn't revolve around relationships - friend or romantic, but it also doesn't mean my life doesn't involve them.

It hurts when you thought the people who were there for you give no reaction to your negative response to life... Maybe I'm looking for Jesus in others. When I have the opportunity to just look for Jesus.

With tears in my eyes - I'm honestly saying life is really hard right now. But hey, c'est la vie, that's life.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

july goals and other things

Work has been busy. Hard. But I can't complain. I have a job and am provided for.
Life has been busy. Hard. But I can't complain. I live in a country that allows me to worship my Jesus.
Church has been busy. Hard. But I can't complain. I love my church.

There are many things that are making my life miserable, but I don't really have control over those things, so I can't get upset.

I went on vacation (now two weeks ago). It was nice. It was the break I needed.
Re-started my fitness journey, you can read about it here.

Here are my July goals:

  1. Contentment Challenge - Kate Monroe's blog challenges readers to live without. She says give up what's taking over.
    1. I'm giving up shopping! I order so much stuff online it's ridiculous! Let's see how much I can save in July, August, and September.
    2. Of course I have 3 exceptions:
      1. Food and any other bills that are directly taking out of my account.
      2. Anything to do with my new Lia Sophia business! (I'm selling jewelry, I'll share more soon!)
      3. Any supplements - see #2 on the list, or She Reads Truth - see #3
  2. LiveFit - I shared on my fitness blog that I'm starting a new fitness plan via bodybuilding.com (great website by the way). It's 12 weeks long with 3 phases. The first phase is 4 weeks long - thus Phase 1 is on my goal list! Each month I'll need to order supplements. I ordered my first batch, and they taste great!
  3. She Reads Truth - I've been slacking w/ my Jesus time. I need to catch up on all missed reading plans and work on the current Sermon on the Mount Series! Besides the supplements, which I need, I'm allowing myself to spend money on these studies, because they have been beneficial - and the app comes out soon which I'm so excited about. Day 2 starts on July 2nd for the Sermon on the Mount - I'm starting it then. Join us!
  4. Read 2 books - Insurgent and Allegiant (easypeasy lemon squeezy)
Do you have any July goals? What are they?